i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize