If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
