I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
