I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
