If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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