youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize