That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
