does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
