we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
