if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
