I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
