im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
