What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
