I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
