"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Randomize
