yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
