We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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