we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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