Will you blow on my dice?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
