i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize