Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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