i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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