That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
