You really coming over, don't trick.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
