i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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