Buhtt sex?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am midnight drunk by noon
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
