Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
