Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
