ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
