My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
