WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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