There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
