:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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