he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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