do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
