i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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