It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My cat gives me a boner
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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