You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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