Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
