Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
