so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize