That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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