I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wear drunk well.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
