We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
