Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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