I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
