I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
