i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize