hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
