what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
