I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
