I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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