If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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