i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
