Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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