He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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