can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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