A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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