when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
