i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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