so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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